Directed by Don Siegel

Stars: Clint Eastwood, Andrew Robinson, Reni Santoni, John Vernon, Harry Guardino

"...but, being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head CLEAN off, you got to ask yourself one question- do I feel lucky?"

Bow down mortals! You are in the presence of one of the great film icons, Dirty Harry Callahan. Every man wants to be him, and every woman wants to be with him. This movie set the bar high in the 70's for the action genre, and a slew of imitators were born in its wake. Don't settle for faking the funk, this is the real deal.

Sniper Scorpio is stalking the streets of San Francisco, striking victims at random. Rogue cop Inspector Harry Callahan is on the case and plans to catch his quarry by any means necessary. Dirty Harry knows Scorpio is a punk ass bitch, killing by stealth because he doesn't have the balls to go one on one with anybody. Rather than sit back and let Scorpio run rampant and escape justice because of a few stupid rules, Harry opts to do whatever it takes to catch the criminal, even if it means giving up his badge in the end.

Can you say "perfection"? There is not one stylistic mistake to be found in this movie. Eastwood is THE MAN, rugged, cynical, witty, and filled with righteous indignation at a flawed system that would allow known criminals to roam free. Andrew Robinson plays his role to the hilt, you will hate his cowardly yellow guts. JOHN VERNON is in this, for the love of cheese! Vernon is one of the demigods of cult moviedom, better to see him in this five star flick than in one of the many craptastic films he made during his career. If you are any kind of movie fan, you must have seen this one, no excuses.

 

Directed by Alberto DeMartino

Stars: Stuart Whitman, Martin Landau, John Saxon, Jean LeClerc, Tisa Farrow

"You can't see what lovely little Louise was really like, can you?"

A police captain investigates the death of his sister and discovers that he didn't know her at all. His idea of her as an innocent college student is radically different from the sordid life she actually led.

Good low budget actioner with lots of gunfire, car crashes, fisticuffs, and nakedness. It's cool to see all these cult movie veterans in early roles. A great way to kill a few hours in front of the television. The fight scene between Stu Whitman and the apartment full of drag queens must not be missed!

Directed by Cirio H. Santiago

Stars: Steve Sandor, Mike Lane, Andrea Savio, William Ostrander

"The nuclear holocaust wiped out all semblance of rhyme or reason."

So, that explains this movie! Just another one of the myriad Mad Max rip-offs set in a post nuclear world. Tribes of humanity battle each other for water, the most precious commodity on earth. Forget your stocks, bonds, and 401-K's, Evian is the currency of the future.

What makes this low budget actioner worth watching is the sight of all the women dressed in little leather shorts. We get rape, decapitation, bitches getting smacked up, midget abuse, and a golden shower. And STILL this movie is boring. WTF?!! And surely oil is just as vital as water, since everybody in this film drives some kind of souped up vehicle, including tanks.

With so many actors running around in this cast, you'll need the following color coded guide to figure out what the hell is going on. Good guys wear brown, beige, white, and a smattering of black. Bad guys wear mostly black. Hope this helps.

Directed by Roy Rosenberg

Stars: Susan Lee, Larry Moore, Stella Jone, George Bill

"OK, you've got pride, but while you're here you're going to have to do without it, and I'm going to start beating it out of you right now!"

This is a terrible example of a WIP film! For the uninitiated, WIP stands for Women in Prison, a complete genre of action/drama films known for it's hot lesbian sex scenes, brutal fights between mostly naked women, and daring escape attempts that result in total chaos and bloodshed. This crud isn't even WIP-Lite.

Why should you watch this? One reason only. There is an Asian actress who performs throughout this film in blackface and an afro wig! She's supposed to be African American! It's hysterical, and she's the only interesting person in the whole movie.
 

Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith

Stars: Edward John Stazak, Paris Jefferson, Michael Carman, Linda Megier

"This kung fu crap...they're only human."

An Aussie martial arts film from the 80's? Whatever wacky images this incites in  your mind is what you get from this movie. Cheesy clothes, script, music, etc.

Jason Blade returns to Australia from Hong Kong and finds out his partner has been killed. He immediately sets out to avenge her. His plan is to infiltrate the gang responsible and go all Panther Clan on their asses.

The best fight scene doesn't even involve our "hero", instead it's his partner Linda who appears to have superior fighting skills. She takes on a group of guys wearing creepy masks and you can see that she's a decent brawler. It's too bad her character gets killed, it would have been more interesting if she were the one avenging Jason's death.

For this genre, this movie is a mediocre entry. The action is okay, the martial arts not so much.  It's been done better far too many times to rate this as a good film. Watchable but forgettable..